In the broader picture of our culture, pleasure is frowned upon. We’re indoctrinated about shame and guilt about feeling good, and we tend to feel holy or good about ourselves when we sacrifice our desires.
The solution to this confusion is what I call “Erotic Innocence.” Your Erotic innocence is your body’s natural inclination towards pleasure. It’s your sensual curiosity. It’s your awareness of the world through your body’s 5 senses that tells you: I like it or I don’t like it.
Erotic Innocence comes from the body. In our evolution, the body came first and the mind came second. Meaning all your impulses about pleasure came first, and your mind’s judgments about them came second. To tune in to your erotic innocence is to turn down the volume on your thoughts and beliefs about your pleasure, and to instead be aware of the direct experience of how you feel. It’s to taste a strawberry or lay down on the touch of silk sheets without making it mean anything on the level of the mind.
It’s letting the sensations be enough. Let the enjoyment of your senses be enough, without a layer of commentary of the mind.
To unabashedly, unashamedly make it your goal to have exquisite intimacy and extraordinary sexual pleasure with your partner, requires consciously becoming aware of the conditioning that might hold you back. Awareness is so powerful! When you are aware that you have shame and guilt operating in your system regarding pleasure and sexuality, then you can have your eyes open, and question your reactions.
When you free yourself from your own sexual shame, you support your partner to free themselves from theirs. Grant yourself erotic innocence. And grant them erotic innocence.
Your pleasure, your desire, your sex – all is pure.
1. Breathwork: Pussy and Cock Breathing
Lie on your back, with an open mouth and wide, relaxed jaw. Breathe in and out, making your breathing a “connected breath” which means that after you inhale, do not pause, continue with your exhalation, and again inhale without a pause. Follow your awareness and breath in all the way to your pussy or your cock. Your body may start to move in organic ways, which including pelvic rocking, bouncing, or shaking. Keep breathing and welcoming everything you feel.
2. Embodiment Practice: Feather Touch
Even the most innocent gentle touch, can give immense pleasure. Feather touch with your hands refers to caressing with very gentle pressure with the tips of your fingers in smooth, long strokes. This kind of touch, although it’s light, can create a really strong effect! It can be deeply relaxing, and simultaneously energizing and arousing.
Part 1: Self-touch
Offer feather touch to yourself. On exposed skin is best, but you can do it on the outside of your clothes too. Experiment with how sensitive your touch can be, in touching yourself, and perceiving your own touch.
Part 2: Feather your partner
One partner lies down to fully relax while the other partner strokes their body with called feather touch. Remove as much clothing as you want to expose your shin. The giver starts at one end of the body with two hands and stokes in long motions up or down the body.
3. Intention Setting:
For example:
I am an erotically innocent being.
All my pleasure is pure an innocent.
I liberate myself from guilt and shame and welcome my erotic innocence.
4. Integration: How was this for you?