Module Seven: Emotional Range for Couples

Many of us were raised with certain emotions being acceptable and certain emotions being unacceptable. It may have been ok to be sad, but not angry. Or angry, but not sad. It may have been unacceptable to love yourself. Shame may have been valid, but fun and pleasure frowned upon.

For deeper intimacy and better sex, the wider emotional range you feel comfortable with the better. Just as we lose out when we repress our sensuality and sexuality, so we diminish our ability to experience deep satisfaction with life when limit we emotions that we label acceptable to experience.

Because we are human, we are going to feel all of them at some point anyway! Our emotional range is in our DNA. It’s just a matter of when those emotions come up, do we accept them, or do we reject them.

Men have been conditioned to operate as completely rational beings, not swayed by their emotions. And women have been conditioned that some emotional responses are ok, and others are not. As you can imagine, when you get into the bedroom, this can translate as being stuck in your head, and disconnected from your physical and emotional feelings.

One of the reasons we fear our emotions, is that we fear that if we embrace them that we’ll be stuck with them forever. But how it works is actually the opposite.

1. Breathwork: Pussy and Cock Breathing

Lie on your back, with an open mouth and wide, relaxed jaw. Breathe in and out, making your breathing a “connected breath” which means that after you inhale, do not pause, continue with your exhalation, and again inhale without a pause. Follow your awareness and breath in all the way to your pussy or your cock. Your body may start to move in organic ways, which including pelvic rocking, bouncing, or shaking. Keep breathing and welcoming everything you feel.

2. Embodiment Practice: Butterfly Release

Put your feet together and your knees out to the side. Let your legs butterfly open to the point where it’s hardest to hold your legs up which will be where a shaking will come most easily.

Let the shake go into your thighs, vagina, psoas, the full sexual area.

Deep full conscious breath through the duration of the practice. Breathe in and out of the mouth because it keeps you deeply grounded in the body.

Allow the shaking to move into your pelvis. If the shake doesn’t come naturally, you can bounce your pelvis a few time, but then open to your body’s natural shake.

Observe the sensations, moment to moment to moment. If you’ve had stuck emotions it can take some more time and it’s a process to learn how to shake, but it will come.

Keep breathing, feel your feelings. Let whatever comes up be ok. Make sounds if you want.

3. Intention Setting:

For example:

I welcome all my emotions.

I welcome all your emotions.

My emotions are a come and go—all of them are acceptable.

4. Integration: How was this for you?

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